One of them days!

Posted on September 25, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Back in the 50’s, Elvis sang a song that went something like:

“Have you ever”

“Ever had”

“Ever had one”

“Ever had one of those days?”

“When nothing went right from morning till night.”

“Have you ever had one of them days?”

Of course, we all have bad days now and then, and when they come, does it seem like one bad thing is happening after another? I know it did for me until I understood what was really going on. To figure it out I had to ask someone else for help. You see, I could not see the apple on my own head.

The answer was simple, once I stepped outside of the troubles. A friend explained what was going on with an analogy. She said, “What you are going through is like a full breakfast plate. On the plate, there’s two eggs, hash browns, bacon, grits, toast, orange juice, and coffee. Each one of those was prepared separately. Cooking the hash browns had nothing to do with frying the eggs. The bacon has nothing to do with anything else on the plate. Each item is an individual taking up one place on the plate. Your problems, or lessons, have nothing to do with each other. What you have are many problems which when put on the same plate look overwhelming, but they are just individual issues. If you address the ones that you can do something about right now, then get that done. The others, put together a plan over the next week to look at each one.”

It was then I realized the flat tire on my way to the meeting had nothing to do with the lawnmower not starting later in the day. The mower had nothing to do with the electric bill, which was much higher than expected. Each of these issues and there were more, had nothing to do with the other, but when I strung them together it seemed like a really bad day.

Today I focused on the good things. I have a car that’s paid off, with insurance. I paid up AAA so it was only a phone call and a short wait when someone else changed it. I was grateful for AAA. The lawnmower, well, I’m grateful to have a mower. It was out of gas. The electric bill; thank God, they trust me all month, giving me heat and AC before I must pay. If I don’t have enough money to pay all the bill, I can pay what I can and try to use less next month.

You see, there’s an answer for each problem I may have as the day passes. If I focus on the solution, answers come. The ideas I feed will grow. Do I like solutions or problems? The Universe wants to give me what it thinks I want. In other words, “We reap what we sow.” Simple but true.

The bottom line is I don’t have to drink over any problems that cross my path. Another way of looking at it is, do I have problems or opportunities to grow through sobriety and learn how the Universe works. The choice is mine.

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Racing mind

Posted on August 31, 2026 by levasseurjohn

How do I get my thinking back on track?

These are my person’s ideas for achieving peace.

I spent my first ten years soberly chasing the squirrels running around in my head. Lucky for me, they went to sleep at night. Then the alarm would sound, and they came out again. I was worried about, number one, picking up a drink, number two, losing my job, and, down the list, the car breaking down on the way home. The list went on and on.

Somewhere around ten years sober, I still hadn’t picked up a drink, hadn’t lost my job, and the car was still running. The other thing that was still running was my mind.

One morning, at a meeting, I worked up the courage to ask for help. At the beginning of the meeting, the chair would ask if anyone had a topic for this morning. At first, I bit my lip and stayed quiet. Then I took a breath, and out it came. “I’m having trouble quieting my mind. It is constantly racing. Has anyone had that problem?” Well, wouldn’t you know, most of the room had at one time the same issue. I received several ways to solve my problem. If you have a minute, I will share some of them with you.

Bob was first and suggested staying in the present moment. He said, “You are here, safe, in the meeting while your problems are outside waiting for you. You don’t have to grab them when you leave. Stay in the present moment.”

Terry then jumped in with another great suggestion. “Stay in the solution. When you focus on your troubles, your troubles grow. If you focus on looking for a way to solve your problems, that is a positive thought, and it grows.

Old John stood up as he always did when he spoke. He had the best suggestion of all. He said, “We often forget one of the most powerful tools in the box. Because that one is in the box, I call it my Power Toolbox. Well, the one that works every time is our Serenity Prayer. It never lets me down, especially if I think of each of the three sections as a separate request. Accept the issue, whatever it is, as it is right now. I can’t fix anything that I haven’t accepted. Then I ask for help and move forward by changing my attitude from defeat to asking what lesson I need to learn. There is always a lesson in each challenge. When I do this, it is all positive, and my troubles fade away. Well, they may not all fade away, but a light will shine, lighting the path to take. It always takes work. God will do for you what you cannot do for yourself.”

Those three men were amazing. It was as if the Universe were speaking through them. When the meeting closed, we all shook hands, and they wished me luck. I didn’t think about my problems all the way home, but I pondered what they said.

Now, when I am having a difficult day of thinking, I remember what I was taught at that meeting. I never know when the message I need to hear will be presented. Now I pay attention at meetings and focus on each person’s message, no matter what the topic. I always have something to learn, and today the squirrels are living in someone else’s head. I hope that person can find their answer at a meeting as I did.

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Completely Present

Posted on August 16, 2026 by levasseurjohn

September Issue of AA Grapevine Magazine

By: John L  – Editor of Addictions News.—Hernando, Florida

Gone are the days of being unable to remember hours or entire days. These were times during which I could have committed any number of embarrassing or illegal acts without remembering a second of it.

Had I said something that I needed to apologize for? Did I need to inspect my car for new dents, or God forbid, blood? Could I even find my car?

Just about every time I regained consciousness after a blackout, the thought would come to mind: I will never drink like that again. But thinking didn’t mean I could keep myself from blacking out again in a few days or even on the same day. During some of my worst blackouts, I would open my blurry eyes with some frightening stranger by my side. Did they have a name? What had happened? Then, to my surprise, they’d roll over and wonder who I was! Today, if I were told that I would lose recall of large blocks of time and that I’d be unable to know what I had done or said, I’d say there’s no way I could engage in such activity.

Being a senior citizen, I now often forget what I did 10 minutes ago or where I last saw my coffee cup. But I always know what’s happening in the present moment. If I do have trouble remembering what happened on a certain day, I’m at least reasonably sure that I didn’t hurt anyone or do something illegal.

For me, blackouts are a thing of the past, but I know they will come flooding back if I ever drink again. We are taught in AA to “think the drink through.” Another saying I like is, “It’s not the caboose that kills you.” I know that if I never pick up that first drink, for any reason, I won’t have to experience a blackout ever again.

I made a solemn promise many years ago to not drink, no matter what. On more than one occasion, I’ve come close to breaking that promise, but I made a phone call instead and talked with a fellow AA member about what I was feeling. We call it sharing our problem. The idea of a drink fades back to where it belongs when we share about it. For me, the secret to overcoming my harmful thoughts is to shine a light on them.

For now, I see no purpose in dredging up the past. I’ve already asked for God’s forgiveness and applied his mercy to all areas of my life. I found through experience that self-forgiveness is crucial in finding a peaceful life. If I’m willing to do the work, I will reap the benefits. The only thing I know for sure is how grateful I am for blackouts being a thing of the past for me. And with God’s help, my past will never become my future.

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Can I Love My Unlovable Self?

Posted on August 9, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Once again, I remind the reader that what I say is my own opinion and experience over the past 40 years in recovery. I’ve diligently followed many teachers and speakers like Wayne Dyer, whom I admire greatly. What I am about to write stems from the many master teachers I’ve used to repair my own dysfunctions. If you have doubts about my experiences, please take the time to find your own Road to Recovery, but by all means start the process with the knowledge that others have been down the road you may be on and have transformed their lives by implementing the knowledge the Universe has laid at their feet.

Today I will cover how love can only be given if you have it to give.

Growing up in a home where the word “love” was used frequently without feelings attached. When I researched my parents’ history, they came from households where the model was that kids should be seen and not heard. They could not express who they were, or if they did, punishment followed. I am sure they heard the word love without expression. This groomed my personality with very low self-esteem, and I frequently put myself down. I was told, “Good job, we didn’t think you could do it?” They were teaching me what they had been taught and didn’t realize how they could have done much better.

As I grew in years, the damaged me came along for the ride, only in an older version. I told my wife and children how I loved them. I knew when I was saying it, there was no emotion attached, just words. My wife at the time grew up in her own alcoholic household and passed on to her what her parents were taught. Unfortunately, her parents were of the same school of thought as my parents.

Moving ahead twenty-five years, I was surviving inside by wearing many masks. On the outside, I was educated, a great worker, and had many surface friends, most of whom put on their own masks. The day came when my heavy drinking caught up with me, and I reached a bottom, within myself, that I never want to return to. I reached a new level of misery, along with jail time for an assault with a deadly weapon charge. This was when the repair process began with the guidance of AA and the 12-Step Program it offered. It came very slowly at first. In fact, I was told if I were going any slower, I would be going backwards.

After ten years sober, I figured out how my insides were still as damaged as they were when I first became sober. It was then that I sought professional help. The first suggested idea was that I stop putting myself down. I started looking in my bathroom mirror and saying how I was a good person, and how I liked myself. The word love, with meaning, would not cross my lips for the next three years. Slowly, but surely, my entire emotional world started to change. By 20 years sober and connected with feelings, I began to feel love filling my heart. I loved who I had become, and feelings were flooding in. Some days the feelings were more than I wanted, but I let the process happen and stopped stuffing my emotions.

At that time, when I said to my children how I loved them, I could feel something different. They weren’t empty words anymore, and I could feel the emotion when they said the word to me. I realized then that I could not give away what I didn’t have, and they could not feel my love until they were ready and open to it. Any other person in my life had to be ready and have worked on their own inner self before that feeling could be reciprocated.

Today, thanks to recovery programs like AA, CODA, ACOA, and others, along with six years of professional guidance, my life is totally different from the past. I am so grateful to those who were along my recovery road, helping me climb the ladder of emotional healing at the right time. I can honestly say that following the 12 steps the way they are presented, no matter which program, has changed my inner frown to a constant smile of happiness. I’ve picked up a little saying which has aided me in my transformation from a moth to a butterfly. It goes like this:

“Happiness is not something I find; it’s something I create.”

If you are not happy, start your own creating process today!

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On the way to the wedding – John L, Hernando FL

Posted on August 4, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Published in Grapevine, November 2023

That morning I arose early and immediately had the obsession for a drink. I’d been consuming a quart of vodka a day for the previous year, so the slide was already greased. But I had to get to a wedding. It was also the day of my last drunk.

I knew I would never leave the house once I started drinking. Instead, I put the first drink off, knowing it was that one that got me drunk every time. After dressing, I headed out the door. I was even wearing a tie. The wedding was 15 miles away. 

Arriving at the church with time to spare, I glanced in the mirror for one last look and there on my white shirt collar was a huge drop of blood. The red dot was only the size of a pea, but to me it seemed like it could have been the size of a basketball. There was time to drive home, change the shirt and be back for the wedding.

On the way home, I passed a liquor store and a voice in my head said, “Just a small bottle of wine. That won’t hurt anything.” I purchased a large bottle, as it was cheaper, and drank it down on the trip home. After changing my shirt I was back on the road, not planning on any stops, but I’d forgotten the first drink was the one that did the job. I stopped once more, picked up bottle number two and off to the wedding I went.

After finding a parking spot at the church, I realized the wedding had already started and I was too late. So instead of going in, I went to the reception hall after picking up a third bottle along the way. I finished that bottle and realized it was too early for the reception, so off I went to the liquor store to purchase bottle number four. At the reception hall, people started filing in. I realized I was too drunk to go inside, so I went home.

The story doesn’t stop there. Once home, I undressed and flopped on the couch for a quick nap. Waking a few hours later, my mouth was dry and I didn’t feel all that great. There in the kitchen was my answer to the hangover—a bottle of vodka. After a few drinks, I headed to the VFW across the street. This was a decision I would regret for a long time.

After drinking all evening there with my brother, he finally left and I stayed around to hear a country band. Somewhere around 11:00 p.m., I got into a shoving match with a fellow much larger than me, so I pulled the gun that I always carried and threatened him and his family. Thanks to the grace of God the gun didn’t go off. I was taken outside and left unconscious in the parking lot.

The next morning my wake-up call was delivered by the local police at my door and off to jail I went. The charge was assault with a deadly weapon and false public alarm. It seems I had called 911 and reported a bomb in the VFW.

A lawyer looked over my case and said the only chance I had of not doing time was to get sober and attend AA meetings, which I did. On the day of my hearing, I had been sober and attending meetings for two months. Miraculously, the judge was in a good mood that day and the VFW dropped the gun charges. I was convicted of false public alarm and sentenced to one year, suspended with the stipulation that I remain sober and attend AA meetings. After a year, the conditional discharge removed everything from my record. Another miracle.

So you never know once you pick up the first drink where the road is going to lead. My AA road to freedom has left me with an amazingly beautiful life, as long as I remember that it all begins with not taking that first drink—no matter what!

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Do you own any cows?

Posted on July 24, 2026 by levasseurjohn
Thich Nhat Hanh (Thay) was a global spiritual leader, Zen master, and peace activist, known for his bestselling writings on mindfulness and engaged Buddhism. Nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize by Martin Luther King Jr., he pioneered mindfulness in the West. Thich Nhat Hanh often shared a famous Buddhist parable about the Buddha and a farmer who lost his cows. This story serves as a profound teaching on letting go of attachments to things we falsely believe are essential for our happiness.  

The Story:
One day, after the Buddha and his monks finished eating lunch, an agitated farmer passed by in a state of utter despair. He asked the Buddha and the monks if they had seen his twelve cows.The farmer lamented that all twelve cows had run away that morning, and to make matters worse, insects had just eaten his entire sesame seed crop. Feeling that he couldn’t survive such a tragedy, he hurried off in the direction he thought the cows went. Watching the man leave, the Buddha turned to his disciples and smiled warmly, saying: “My dear friends, do you know that you are the happiest people on Earth? You do not have any cows to lose.” 

The Lesson: “Releasing Your Cows
The Buddha used the farmer’s misfortune to teach his monks about the heavy burden of attachment. While the monks had renounced material possessions and lived simply with just three robes and a bowl, everyone is susceptible to holding onto their own “cows”. Do I have any Cows that I am holding onto? Am I possessing my things, or are my things possessing me? 
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10 smart ways to deal with rude people

Posted on July 20, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Source: Sophie Lizard

1. Remember, sometimes the rude person is you.

Maybe not today, but there’ve been times when you were rude. And you’re not a bad person. So next time somebody’s rude to you, remember that they’re human, just like you, and that rudeness alone doesn’t mean they’re a bad person.

2. Don’t take it personally (even if it’s personal).

When someone’s rude—especially if they’re making personal comments about you—it’s easy to get upset. But you have a choice about how you react. Take the power out of their rudeness by choosing to treat it as their problem, not your problem.

3. Find out why

People have their own reasons for being rude. Perhaps they’ve had a bad day, or they’re in a hurry and think there isn’t time for manners. Perhaps they don’t even realize how rude they’ve been. You won’t know until you ask! Stay calm and simply say, “I think that’s pretty rude. Why are you treating me like this?” The answer may surprise you.

4. Be objective and analyze the rudeness.

So somebody was rude to you. What did they do or say? Was there any sense in it? If you view the situation objectively, you’ll realize that most rudeness is senseless, so you can cheerfully ignore it. On the rare occasions when there’s logic behind the rude behavior, staying objective lets you address the root of the problem instead of the rudeness concealing it.

5. Don’t join the drama club.

Do you feel like yelling at the rude people around you? Don’t. Joining in the drama will only escalate the situation. Whether you’re dealing with a drama queen who’s doing it on purpose or an inconsiderate oaf whose rudeness is unintentional, keep your dignity intact by not letting rude behavior provoke you into a tantrum of your own.

6. Let it drop and walk away.

Rudeness is hurtful, but removing yourself from the situation is the fastest and surest way to avoid more rude behavior from the same person. Walk away, even if they’re still talking to you! If they’re a stranger, you’ll never have to deal with them again. If they’re a friend or colleague, they’ll soon learn that being rude to you gets them exactly nowhere (and maybe that will prompt them to be nicer next time).

7. Consider offering help.

Some rudeness is simply a matter of bad manners. But often, a person who’s rude to you does so because they feel frustrated about something—and if it’s within your power to resolve their frustration, you may see them switch from rudeness to gratitude in seconds. A word of warning, though: only offer help if you can provide it immediately, as an offer of help “later on” can add to their feelings of frustration.

8. Understand rudeness as a habit.

Some people are rude simply because they’re always rude. Once rudeness becomes a habit, it can be difficult to shake off, even if they truly want to behave better. Habitual rudeness should never be taken personally; it’s just a pattern that’s hard to break. Which brings us to the next point—

9. Don’t try to force a change.

You can’t make someone be polite if they want to be rude. In fact, trying to force a change in their behavior will often make them behave worse instead of better. Sometimes your best option is to accept that their rudeness is not your fault and let them find their own solutions.

10. Fight rudeness with kindness.

Don’t let rudeness make you respond with more of the same. The best way to defuse rude behavior is to stay friendly and helpful, giving the other person a chance to calm down and adjust their behavior to match yours.

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Religion and Spirituality

Posted on July 3, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Let’s celebrate the 4th of July by respecting everyone’s rights.

Religion is an institutional framework of organized beliefs, dogmas, and shared rituals directed by a community or higher authority. Spirituality is an individualized, subjective quest for meaning, peace, and connection to something greater, often existing independently of established traditions or religious structures.

While religion provides a structured roadmap to the sacred, spirituality is a personal exploration that emphasizes the interior life and direct, lived experiences.

Key Differences, Structure & Context:

· Religion is typically communal, bounded by historical texts, codes of conduct, and formal institutions (e.g., attending a church or temple).

· Spirituality is deeply personal and flexible, allowing individuals to define their own path.

Belief vs. Seeking:

Religion often asks adherents to accept specific dogmas and articles of faith.

Spirituality encourages seeking, valuing personal inquiry, meditation, or connection with nature over dictated answers.

The “Spiritual but not Religious” (SBNR) Movement:

This modern self-identification highlights a growing cultural shift in which people seek a connection with the divine or the universe while rejecting the rigid formalities and moral doctrines of organized religion.

The Overlap:

The two concepts are not mutually exclusive. Many people consider themselves both spiritual and religious—using the community and rituals of their faith to deepen their personal relationship with the sacred.

There are many more differences between the two, but which one you choose or reject is an individual preference. Remember one thing. Whichever side of the fence you select, you have the right to change your preference any time you wish.

Within structured recovery programs, the use of religious dogma sometimes exceeds its intended use. One of the sayings in AA is to, “Take what you want and leave the rest.” If you strongly object to a prayer at the end of the meeting, just leave the room. You can also stand and respect the rest while not participating in the words. Don’t let others’ beliefs chase you out of the lifesaving help you may need.

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Why do I fear doing something new for the first time?

Posted on June 30, 2026 by levasseurjohn

Fear of trying something new stems from your brain’s biological defense mechanism. Unfamiliar situations create uncertainty, triggering anticipatory anxiety and the fear of losing control. Your mind naturally associates the “unknown” with potential danger, prioritizing safety over the growth that comes with new experiences. The psychological and practical factors that drive this feeling include:

Fear of the Unknown:

Because you don’t know what to expect, your mind can project negative or catastrophic outcomes.

Fear of Judgment & Perfectionism:

A desire to appear competent can lead you to worry about what others might think if you make a mistake. Fear of Failure: The worry that your invested time or energy will not yield the desired result, leading to feelings of inadequacy.

Navigating this discomfort becomes easier when you understand the root of the anxiety. Could you share what specific activity you are thinking of trying, or what usually happens when you think about taking that first step? This will help us figure out a tailored approach to managing the nerves.

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“Stay in the solution!”

Posted on June 17, 2026 by levasseurjohn

This little idea is so powerful, and as far as I am concerned, the key to staying sober while healing toward a better way of life. I attended my first meeting at the Derry Friendship Center on August 24th of 1986. In the early days, I was looking for any positive words that I could hold on to. Over the door of the sober club was a sign that was once white before the smoking meetings turned it yellow. The color didn’t matter. It was the words, “Don’t drink, go to meetings, ask for help, and let it happen.” That was my staying in the solution. I looked at that sign during the meetings. I know, somehow, if I just didn’t drink, my life would get better. At the time, I was facing serious gun charges and could spend the next 3 years behind bars. What didn’t help was that I had no excuse. I was guilty. At the time, there wasn’t a judge on earth who would accept how I was in a blackout and hardly remembered pointing the gun at a VFW dance and threatening a guy and his family, just because they were speaking Spanish. I felt that everyone in the VFW should only speak English.

It took two months for my trial date to arrive. By then, I was attending meetings 7 days a week, and 5 a day on weekends. My lawyer negotiated a one-year suspended sentence with the prosecutor and even secured a conditional discharge. The Judge agreed and told me that if I came before him in the next year for anything, I was going away. I continued with AA meetings while letting it happen.

Today, after almost 40 years sober, that saying is still the most important for me. Let me share one example from the mid-nineties. I owned a self-help book store in North Hampton, Massachusetts. I was a member of a sober motorcycle club with an old Honda Chopper. It had only a 2-gallon tank, so I had to fill it often. One night, I rode the 40 miles to the New York border for a monthly meeting. That night, I forgot to top off the tank. On the way home, the bike ran out of gas. That area was very rural. I drove into this little village with a gas station. Unfortunately, it was closed, and the village looked empty. I coasted up to the pump while thinking,  “Ok God, now is a time for me to stay positive and in the solution.” A young boy, around 12, was sitting on a park bench, fifty feet away. He walked over and asked if I had broken down. I said,  “No, just out of gas.” He replied in what I thought was a sarcastic tone. “You picked a good place to run out of gas, at a gas pump.” I could have gotten angry, but I remained calm. Maybe this was my angle. I responded, “Yeah, but the station is closed if you hadn’t noticed.” His reply brought me right back to reality with the answer I’d somehow been hoping for. “This is my father’s station, and I have the key.” Within minutes, I was on my way with a full tank and wasn’t even charged. It showed me once again that if I look for a solution, miracles will happen.

For many years now, I have been using those simple words over and over. Each time, I am not disappointed when the solution shows itself. It may not be the way I planned or hoped for, but it’s always a solution, and, even better, most of the time.

As I said, this has worked for me for 40 years. Give it a try and wait for yourself; the solution may present itself, right out of the blue, or from that invisible power I call God, Higher Power, or The Universe.

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