Road To Recoveries

In early sobriety, the first three months anyway, I revered most of the happy faces I saw in meetings. They acted as if there was nothing to fear and everything to love. I was far from where they were and would express it when asked to share. There were some meetings where I would be left behind, as the chair knew my message. It was always the same: about being a victim and how my new life directly reflected my old one. Nothing had changed.
      Then came the meeting, which changed my outlook on life. You see, I’m a Pisces by birth. One of the personality traits of being born in March is we need to see things before believing them. After the meeting, a member sat me down with a picture that put everything in perspective. It showed a small river with two banks. There were twelve stones to cross the river. He said how being on one bank was my old life. The fear of losing my job, family, and myself in the bottle all resided there. Peace, harmony, prosperity, serenity, and happiness are experienced on the other side of the river, where the smiling faces live. He said how each rock was like one of the steps. When I am on the first rock or step, all I can see is what is behind me. He said there would be times when I would think about returning to what was familiar. He explained how the secret was to keep stepping on each stone in front of me. He then said that once I got closer to the other shore, it would become evident that the Promises of AA were coming true. He then reminded me how there is work to do at each step before stepping off to the next.
      The good news is the old way of living will become a memory, and the new way will be so exciting as each new door is unlocked. Behind each one is the dream I never knew existed outside of my addiction.
      I will forever be grateful for him showing me that picture and explaining how what I thought was impossible is now a reality. I dared to take that first step of willingness and believed in how others felt the process would work.

Thank you God, for taking me where I did not want to go.

A well-known story in the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” was written by Doctor Paul on acceptance. In his writing, he says, “Nothing, absolutely nothing. happens in God’s world by mistake.” To many in recovery from alcohol, this statement is the most profound and meaningful in the entire book. I don’t think Doctor Paul knew his writing would help so many. I’ve based my life on this statement over the past thirty years. Everything that has happened is happening now, and what’s about to happen has a purpose or is a puzzle piece in the grand scheme. Doctor Paul knew how important it was for me to learn this simple truth as early in recovery as possible.

Today, there are no mistakes. Returning to my childhood, I see how each event fits perfectly into the next. It has all come together into a story that’s perfect in every way. It’s the story of my life, and only I can understand the meaning of what transpired.

When my father died in a car accident when I was twelve, I couldn’t have imagined how this tragedy would fit into my story. Now that I am seventy-three years old, it fits in its proper place. That event started my slide into the darkness, but I did survive. I didn’t grieve his death for fifty years. When my first son died at birth, it took forty-five years to grieve that. Where is the lesson? Now, I see that I suffered needlessly because I never reached out for help. Today, I use my experience with death to help others not to do as I did.

When I lost the self-help bookstore that I had worked so hard to make a success in, I didn’t see that lesson either until later. That lesson was not to trust my feelings in objects that cannot succeed or items that will wear out of break.

When I started reaching out for help during tough times, my grieving process became much quicker, and I didn’t suffer needlessly.