Whoever said God was a he?

I don’t believe I ever heard a religious expert say how God is either male or female. Maybe along the way, it was decided that God was like us humans and could only be one or the other. Who knows for sure, maybe God is both or neither. If I am a spiritual entity, how does gender enter into the question? And the name humans have assigned to this power is God. A friend says he used the word ‘God’ because he doesn’t know anyone who is called ‘God’. There are plenty who are walking the earth with the name Jesus, but no one called God, at least that I’ve been told.

There are lots of questions and, let’s be real, no one has the answers, or at least no one alive today. With that being said, I must accept that I just don’t know. Let’s move to the next question:

Who or what do I pray to?

First, a little background on my experiences.  I was the oldest of 4 and grew up in the late 40’s and early 50’s. We were Catholics and dressed up for church every Sunday. Around age 8, I was drafted to serve the church as an altar boy. After a short training period, rattling off the responses in Latin came naturally, even if I had no idea what I was saying. I must admit I did like being an Alter Boy, especially for weddings and funerals, when someone in charge would always call us aside and give us money for our services. As far as my thoughts about God, He was ready to judge and punish me every time I sinned. I know now, the word sin in olden times was used by archers. When they missed the mark, it was called a sin.

Continuing with my story:

On the evening of November 6, 1956, my father was late coming home from work. I had a call from a friend who said his father had just arrived after being delayed by a fatal car accident where a station wagon had hit a trailer truck head-on. My father drove a station wagon. I went into our living room, which faced down the street, and I got down on my knees and prayed to God that the person killed wasn’t my dad. Well, you guessed it. Within minutes, two cars pulled into our driveway, one of which was the local police car. I knew then that all the time spent in service to God was for nothing. I remember looking up and saying, “F… you.” That changed my relationship with God and His church for many years to come.

How did my relationship with this power change for me?

After 25 years of alcoholism, getting into trouble with the law had brought me to my knees once again. This time the prayer was, “Please God, help me, I can’t stop drinking.” The miracle happened, and I haven’t had a drink since. Within a few months of attending meetings, I “Came to believe that a power greater than I am, could restore me to sanity.” The word sanity at that time meant that alcohol was no longer my friend, and I didn’t want that old life back. At a meeting one night, a member explained what “God as you understand Him” meant to him. He said, “I never had a relationship with my father, as much as I wanted one.” “It was explained to me, by a very wise elderly woman, that I could use my idea of a perfect father, who was in heaven, as my concept of God.” She said how I could call him Father. For me, the perfect father is one who is there for me, no matter what. He would guide me in difficult decisions along my journey. He would not punish me when I made a mistake, but show me where I could have made better decisions. I put this concept into practice, and before I knew it, I was a believer in many things I had given up on years before.

How does one talk to our Higher Power, as recovery programs describe it?

The key for me is TALK. I don’t have to say all of those Hail Marys or Our Fathers. It’s simple. How would an earthly father want their children to communicate with them? I’m sure not by a bunch of meaningless words. That father would like to hear gratitude, ask for advice, and do the right thing. Before I travel today, I always ask for a safe, uneventful trip. When my car starts, I give thanks. When I fill my car up with gas and pay the bill, I give thanks. I try to go through my day looking for the good in everything, and once again give thanks. Try it, you’ll like it!

Do I still believe today?

The answer to that question is a resounding yes! I still question an afterlife, heaven, evolution, and many other questions that we all have, but now there is a connection, that is somewhere in my heart area, with something that is real. The spiritual statements I read today have a new meaning. “Ask and ye shall receive,” being one of them. The asking has to come from that heart area, with sincerity and certainly in a humble manner. Maybe something like, “Father, if it is in my best interest, show me the road forward.” I know today that every experience, good or bad, has a lesson for me. Once I stop long enough to ask this power for help, the answers come. They may not be what I want, but it is always what is best.

Is this the end? It may be the end of this article, but in life, it’s only the beginning. At 81, I’m still learning every day. If I’m willing to listen for that “still small voice,” the voice of my father in heaven will speak. That voice has all the answers and is willing to guide me in doing the right thing.

I hope you have learned some new ideas from what was passed on to me. God bless, be open-minded, and expect miracles.