Somewhere in every addiction related program, the Four Ts can come into play. It is as simple as, “Think the _____ through,” has become part of most recovery program. Why is that so popular? One answer is that it works! Another one, it’s simple and easy to remember, and lastly, it can change the outcome of any decision before the disaster occurs. Let me say, I have learned this through experience. For 40 years, I have not touched a single drop of alcohol or taken a drug that wasn’t prescribed. I attribute my success in part to that simple slogan.

My entire life has not been a bowl of cherries? Like most of us, life has a strange way of getting our attention. As I mentioned in previous writings, I believe that we are on this earth to learn. Experiencing life is the purpose of my being in this body, for as many years as it takes. Every bad or good day has had a lesson embedded in it. I have no control over when an experience, with an attached lesson, is placed in my path. I do know that the faster I find out what that experience is here to show me, the quicker I move on to the next one. Thinking through my decisions to the end, on which path I choose to experience, can make all the difference. Most of these lessons are small, and I receive the answer quickly.

Here are some of the experiences I’ve used, or not used the saying, to navigate the minefields.

Example 1: Being sober for 3 years and attending meetings just about every day, I thought it was a good idea to start a relationship, without knowing who I really was. I asked this very attractive, young, and smart girl out on a date. I had an idea that she may have a preference toward the opposite sex, but that wasn’t going to stop me. I could change her. We saw each other every day at meetings and had many dinners together. After a week, the relationship turned physical, and I fell in love. At the end of the month, I purchased an engagement ring, and we were setting a date. She wanted it quickly, so we were married within the next month. Most of the AA we knew attended the wedding, with their own thoughts on which direction we were headed. Within 52 days, she tried to kill herself several times and ended up in a long-term psychiatric treatment center. That is where she discovered who she really was attracted to. On my last visit, she announced that she was in love with her therapist, who was a woman. Even though I suspected all along that this might happen, I refused to accept it until that moment. It was then that I wished I had “thought the relationship through.”

Example 2: More recently, I decided to spend the summer with my daughter in Missouri to escape the heat in Florida. The plan, as I saw it, was to leave in May. It was September, so there was lots of time to plan. Right away, I came up with one, brilliant plan. Without thinking it through, I borrowed $20,000 from the bank and purchased a 35-foot RV. A month later, I drove it to my daughter’s home for my niece’s wedding. After a ten-day visit, I returned. To my horror, the gas bill for the RV was $1,000 on the credit card, which I really could not afford. Now the RV sits until May, registered and insured. Thinking the RV decision through may have not put me in as much debt or leave me with a large vehicle in my yard. Maybe I could have come to a different outcome. There were many other avenues available, but my obsession blinded me to the possibilities. I have faith that this will all turn out for the best, and maybe the lesson in this one is, next time to think the decision through.

Example 3: Another RV-related experience comes to mind. Before leaving on my trip, the AC unit in the living area was not working. These units are not repairable for the most part. I purchased a new one on the credit card. I had all sorts of ideas for mounting the 80-pound unit on the RV’s roof. Each one of the ideas I thought the outcome through, and most of my best ideas, would involve me being injured in some way. It was then that I reached out to my son, who lives in New England and would be visiting my daughter at the same time as I. He said that he and a few of the larger boys would do it for me. When I was there with him, we realized that my son-in-law had a new tractor with a bucket loader in the front. We used that to raise the AC unit into place, and the job was complete, the AC was working, and no one was hurt, especially me. Thinking the project through made a huge difference on this one.

Example 4: I will make this the last and most recent experience. In this one, I did think it through and maybe avoided a disaster. I mentioned the big RV. Well, I needed to trim some trees so the branches wouldn’t rub on the roof and siding. I already have an electric chainsaw and a ladder. Oh, I didn’t mention that I am 81 years young and 40 pounds overweight. Can you see what might be coming? I looked at those branches for a week, thinking about how it might be done. I figured I would climb the extension ladder as high as I could, step into the tree, and climb ten feet up the trunk. That is when the idea of thinking the decision through came into play. Falling out of the tree wasn’t an outcome I was looking forward to having. Old bones break easily. That is when I stepped back and reevaluated the plan. It was then that the idea of an electric pole saw came to mind. I purchased one, on the credit card, of course, and will tackle the trimming from the ground in a week or so. The trimming will eventually get finished, and I will still be able to seek out another lesson.

New lessons are waiting for me. There are many things to learn in the short time I have left on this earth. I look forward to new experiences, because that is what life is all about. Today I’ve promised myself to “think the thought through,” and I know by doing that, the journey will be much easier, thank you, God.