Expectations—they may be good or not so good—but we all have them. They arrive as thoughts without an invitation. What’s important is how I react when an expectation invades my present moment. The method I use for processing expectations has changed over the years.

In the early days, without the gift of knowledge, I would read the expectation over and over in my mind until the story became deeply rooted in consciousness. Like any other thought, the more I gave it focus, the larger and more entrenched it became. An example might be, “When I go on vacation in July, I expect every day to be sunny because the trip is costing so much.” Then every day for the next month, I carry this thought into the now and make it stronger. The processing method back then was: what I think about will come true, maybe to the point of my being able to change the weather. Then the vacation came, and it rained every day. It was the worst vacation I ever had, and I was miserable every minute of every day.

On the flip side of the example, if I constantly think about how I have no control over what the vacation week will turn out to be, there is a better chance I will be able to accept things and roll with the punches.

Not having any expectation is almost humanly impossible. Knowing what is true and what’s a story keeps me in reality. I process expectations quickly by remembering that I have no control over what may come, waiting to see what the future brings, and dealing with it then.

Today, I know any expectation is a premature resentment that I chose not to allow myself to have. After saying a prayer to stay in the now, I give my thoughts to God.