If you read this statement and don’t feel rebellious, you may be in trouble and don’t know it. When I first heard an actor on a TV series say this statement, it truly brought the hair on the back of my neck to attention. The thought of how many who listen to that statement think, “How true that is,” disturbs me greatly. Everyone has the right to think and interpret things as they see fit without my interjecting a different opinion.

If you believe that statement and don’t want to hear someone’s experiences where that statement couldn’t be further from the truth, please close this file and go no further. If you’re interested in another opinion, then continue reading.

Today, I would modify the above slightly. It would say, “Control is NOT the key to happiness” or “Control is an illusion.” My first thoughts, years ago, would not have agreed with that interpretation of “control.” I was at the 5-year point in my sobriety and was thinking that I finally had control over my life. The relationship with my children could not have been better, and even my relationship with my ex-wife was better. I was more responsible in my work and promoted twice, as the company had observed the changes in my attitude and my concern for others.

The old way of thinking went on for another two years, at which time I became suicidal with a gun to my head. I could not stand myself anymore. As I look back now, it wasn’t me I resented but the way my EGO was making my life unfold. I had to be in control, even though most of my decisions were taking a turn for the worse. It was then that I started therapy, hoping to make my life better.

After three years of seeing a specialist twice a week, I began to notice a change. It was gradual at first, but as I learned more about myself and my secret desires, I formed a solid connection with the power greater than I am, it picked up speed. The people at the meetings were sharing their experiences with that power, but my closed mind was in charge. Once I started recognizing the ego from a different part of my psyche, it began to diminish. The more I looked at it, the less critical it became. I filled the void in my soul with the voice of what I call the Holy Spirit. Some use other words to describe that side, but it is the “still small voice” that can only be listened to when my focus is on it.

As I watched miracles happen in others and a few of my own, I began to believe more and more. Each time I found myself in a difficult situation, I asked for this power’s help. When the crisis was over, I realized that I had been given direction from within. It came in intuition, but was always for the good. After many such experiences, I came to believe in a power greater than myself.

Today, when difficulties arise, I go first to what I know to have all the answers. That one is God. Please find your own path to your higher power or whatever you refer to it as now. Prove it. You will have to experience it yourself. I can tell you about my experiences, but until you try it, they won’t become real. What do you have to lose?