Security, what it is, what it’s not, and how do I find it?

Security is not easy to define and even harder to obtain. Once again, the inspiration for this writing came from an addictions recovery meeting discussion on the topic of Security.  I’ve listened to meeting topics, attended thousands of lectures, owned a Self-Help Bookstore, and read many books on different programs where I seem to be the central character. After all of this, I have made a few observations, and feel it’s my duty to pass on my experience to those willing to listen and maybe try something new.

Webster’s Dictionary describes Security as:

Personal Security refers to the state of being safe from danger or harm. It protects oneself and one’s property from theft, violence, or cyber-attacks. Examples of personal security measures include Locking doors and windows to prevent break-ins.

Webster describes events outside of our central being. They allude to the idea that Security is a state of mind or a feeling. This feeling is created when certain outside conditions are met. The feeling itself is something that only we can create.

“If I only had.” This tells me that my Security can only be obtained when:

• I have the right place to live.
• I have the right job.
• Enough money in my pocket.
• The right wife or girlfriend.
• And the list goes on.

If I look hard enough, there will always be something that makes me feel insecure. Once again, it’s something on the outside that dictates a feeling on the inside.

One of the concepts I’ve picked up along the road to recovery was taught by the famous psychologist and philosopher Abraham Maslow. He is often called the “father of motivation theory.” He’s best known for his 1943 paper, “A Theory of Human Motivation,” which introduced his influential Hierarchy of Needs. The theory suggests fulfilling innate human needs in a prioritized order leads to self-actualization. Maslow theorized that as lower-level needs are fulfilled, higher needs emerge.

• Physiological needs (food, water, shelter, rest)
• Safety needs (Security, stability, freedom from fear)
• Social and belonging needs (friendship, intimacy, acceptance)
• Esteem needs (respect, recognition, status)
• Self-actualization needs (achieving one’s full potential, creativity)

The thing to take away from the above points is that all of these are real but are outside of my inner being. Can I feel Secure if my basic needs are not answered? My answer is a resounding YES. A lot of other work must be done before we reach this state. Finding a “Power greater than I am” is essential. How did I see that power?

A Higher Power is an intrinsic part of most addiction recovery programs and a good church. The higher being in a church may be described quite differently than in AA, NA, Adult Children, or any of the many other programs. AA says that this power can be as you describe it. That program is where I found this power.

Having found that there is a loving being, if you prefer, which resides within my spirit while loving me and accepting of whom I have become, good and bad. This being has given me the gift of self-will and the ability to choose. These choices have both good and bad consequences. If I choose the right path, good things will result, while the wrong path will bring misery. The idea of Ying and Yang seems to apply along with the saying, “We reap what we sow.” “Good begets good” is another golden nugget.

Finally, suppose I can create a place in my heart or inner being for this power to reside. In that case, the result is a sense of Security without any outside positive or negative stimulus. It can be done because I’ve done it. Of course, that is easy to say because, at the moment, all of my needs have been met. Should I lose any of those needs, will I be able to carry on feeling secure? Time will tell on that one, but it need not happen. If I am always doing the will of my God, or Higher Power, it appears that those challenges need not be placed on my table, and if they are, I just need to remember the “Golden Key.” This is a concept presented by Emmitt Fox in his little book, which is the same name, and I highly recommend that everyone read or listen to it on YouTube. The concept is simple. Take your focus off of your problem and place your focus on God, where all answers reside. I always use the Golden Key in any situation I find myself in.  The problem will be resolved quickly and far better than I imagined.

Does this stuff work? Take it from me, it does, and I say that from years of experience. God bless, as you find your own Security on the inside.