Difficult people can be a lifelong curse. I don’t know anyone who doesn’t have at least one person within shouting distance who they could live without. It might be the checkout clerk at the grocery store, in a non-profit where you are a trustee or even your neighbor. They could also hide at work, church, or even your immediate family.

We all know who these people are, and while I try to keep my distance, they inevitably find their way into my inner circle with their primary purpose of pushing my buttons. They even managed to find the buttons I didn’t know I had. Patience and self-awareness are crucial tools in dealing with these troubled individuals, even if it doesn’t always yield immediate results. Patience in particular, can be a powerful force in encouraging these individuals to look within themselves to understand what’s causing their own unhappiness. God forbid, it could even be me who is troubling them.

In my search for a more manageable way to handle difficult individuals, I’ve discovered a powerful solution and it starts with me. The less I appreciate who I am, the more challenging these people become. However, once I embark on a journey of self-forgiveness and self-acceptance, I begin to truly love myself. This newfound self-love has had a profound impact on my interactions with difficult people. They no longer appear as frequently, and when they do, I find myself handling them with much more grace and ease.

At some point, it may be necessary to confront an individual if you can’t get away from them altogether. I use a straightforward method. First, I bring to their attention one positive trait about them. Once comfortable, I address my concerns and follow up with positive remarks. This way, they are kept off guard and can’t get defensive immediately. Finishing on a positive note leaves them feeling okay for the moment. Now, the difficult person has one of your concerns to work on. This method works nine out of ten times. When it doesn’t, the correct thing to do is bow out as gracefully as possible and give it a try another day. It may be they have a difficult person in their life to deal with which I have no control over.

One of the difficult persons in my life is a big mouth who likes to dominate the meetings. He is always trying to hustle the young girls while sponsoring a dozen men. When I see him come through the door, I want to leave. Then he sits with all the men he sponsors. It was then that I realized that I was sitting by myself. Who is the one who may be doing the right thing? He might be right and I’m not. It gives me something to look at. Expectations can be a big problem for me. There is always two sides to every coin. The good news is, I don’t have to be around that person and if I work on my own shortcomings the other persons may not be as glaring after all, it’s all about becoming a better me.