It matters not the extent of your education, how many years you’ve been sober, or the number of your last birthday; we all have cried out at some point, “Why is my life such a mess?”

For years, I stared at the problems, and the problems grew. I followed friends at work, church, or on the softball team who had more things going in their lives, and they handled their situations much smoother than I did. My solution was to do it all right now. With this approach, projects overlapped in my mind. My thinking was too scattered to see the solution, while others could see it naturally.

Finally, I asked one of my calm friends, “How do you do it?” The answer was simple. Why hadn’t I seen it all along?

He said, “First, buy a whiteboard and a dry-erase marker and hang it up where you can see it.”

He said I should use the marker to list the projects that were coming from all directions, placing each in its column. Once completed, I could read the list to see what items belonged to me.

A few of my troubles included, “My daughter is driving drunk several times a week.” “A few of my friends were let go from work last month. What are they going to do?” “My wife has a pain in her chest. What if it’s cancer?”  For each of these, I place them on the board under the heading “NOT ME.” 

He asked the remaining items on the list, “Which of these has no solutions within your present circumstance?” I was to move those to the bottom with the others and head that column, “NO CONTROL.” By now, you will only have things on the board under “ME.” It’s those problems that I need to find answers for. He suggested that I even use a separate whiteboard for JUST ME items.

Let it rest for a few days, remembering how the whiteboard has the problems now, and I no longer need to stress over them. The mind will want to continue controlling everything, but keep reminding yourself about the whiteboard. You might even look at the “ME” list and ask God for guidance in planning solutions for each item.

Pick one of the simple one’s. Maybe “Clean the basement.” Under that heading, write the day you plan to attack the cleanup and list what you may need, like trash bags. Please don’t wait; you only need to focus on one thing. The whiteboard is holding the others for when you have the time. Focus your attention on the task at hand and finish it. Once complete, go to the board and strike through that item. Leave it up for a while so you can see how you are progressing.

Now, look at the board for the next project, which has a beginning and an end. Again, write down when you will do it and what you need.

As the projects get harder, it may take longer, or you may wait for something else to happen. For those times, stop and let the whiteboard keep track of where you are. Then move to another.

Before you know it, the stress will be gone, and the board will be empty. As new projects come to mind, see if they belong on the second board of things that don’t belong to you.

I have been doing this for fifteen years, and my life is primarily stress-free as long as I continue using my dry-erase marker. This method has worked for me but may differ from what you seek. What do you have to lose? The cost of a chalkboard is a small price to pay for peace of mind.

If I do a little each day, a lot will get done.